Once upon a time, son,

they used to laugh with their hearts

and laugh with their eyes:

but now they only laugh with their teeth,

while their ice-block-cold eyes

search behind my shadow.

There was a time indeed

they used to shake hands with their hearts:

but that’s gone, son.

Now they shake hands without hearts

while their left hands search

my empty pockets.

‘Feel at home!’ ‘Come again’:

they say, and when I come

again and feel

at home, once, twice,

there will be no thricefor then I find doors shut on me.

So I have learned many things, son.

I have learned to wear many faces

like dresses – homeface,

officeface, streetface, hostface,

cocktailface, with all their conforming smiles

like a fixed portrait smile.

And I have learned too

to laugh with only my teeth

and shake hands without my heart.

I have also learned to say,’Goodbye’,

when I mean ‘Good-riddance’:

to say ‘Glad to meet you’,

without being glad; and to say ‘It’s been

nice talking to you’, after being bored.

But believe me, son.

I want to be what I used to be

when I was like you. I want

to unlearn all these muting things.

Most of all, I want to relearn

how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror

shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs!

So show me, son,

how to laugh; show me how

I used to laugh and smile

once upon a time when I was like you.

Summary

The persona in the poem is either a father or mother who speaks to his son about how people, as well as himself, have changed. They no longer show genuine emotion but instead are insincere. He recalls when people would “laugh with their eyes” and “shake hands with their hearts.” His disdain is clear as he speaks to the insincerity of the people and how they have begun to feign laughs and give heartless handshakes while they checked for information about his financial status. The persona also speaks about the way he has adapted to this new insincere world. He says nice things and acts friendly in contrast to what he really feels. But he tells his son that he longs for the time when people were genuine and now, he finds himself unable to really laugh. He wants to be young and able to show his true feelings again like his son.

Theme – societal changes, hypocrisy, and values.

Mood – disdain and nostalgia.

Tone – ironic

Analysis

Stanza 1

“Once upon a time, son, they used to laugh with their hearts and laugh with their eyes”

Stanza one opens with ‘once upon a time,’ which shows that the persona is about to tell a story. The father speaks about ‘they,’ in reference to the people who used to laugh genuinely and show their true emotions.

“But now they only laugh with their teeth, while their ice-block-cold eyes search behind my shadow.”

This suggests that people have changed and that they no longer laugh genuinely. Instead, they “perform” for those they encounter because they hope to find secrets and flaws. He describes their eyes using a metaphor “ice-block-cold eyes”- to show the coldhearted and unfeeling nature of these people.

“There was a time indeed- they used to shake hands with their hearts: but that’s gone, son.”

Again, the persona reflects with nostalgia about when people would shake hands ‘with their hearts,’ or with love, but notes with sadness that those times had passed.

“Now they shake hands without hearts while their left hands search my empty pockets.”

The people shake hands heartlessly. They show that they have no trust or personal warmth. Instead, they want to find out his financial status. This draws parallel to the capitalist ideals and with what was said at the end of the previous stanza: “… their ice-block-cold eyes search behind my shadow.” This means that their main aim is to find or gain some understanding about the persona, and therefore they have lost sincerity with their gesture of shaking hands.

‘Feel at home!’ ‘Come again’: they say, and when I come again and feel at home, once, twice, there will be no thrice- for then I find doors shut on me.”

This is a continuation of the previous thoughts where people are inspecting and evaluating the persona even as they embrace a newer culture where financial and social status is dominant. The persona notes that these people are hypocritical because they tell him to feel at home with each visit and once, they realize that he does not meet the financial or social status then he is no longer welcomed in their homes.

“So I have learned many things, son. I have learned to wear many faces like dresses – homeface, officeface, streetface, hostface, cocktailface, with all their conforming smiles like a fixed portrait smile.”

There is acceptance in this line as the persona has learn to embrace this new culture where he is cold and has so little or no feelings towards people. He has created different faces to suit the encounters and each reaction depends on the specific person.

“And I have learned too to laugh with only my teeth and shake hands without my heart. I have also learned to say, ‘Goodbye’, when I mean ‘Good-riddance’; to say ‘Glad to meet you’, without being glad; and to say ‘It’s been nice talking to you’, after being bored.”

The persona tells his son the things he has started doing over the years. These things do not come from his heart but rather for show in hopes of gaining something.

“But believe me, son. I want to be what I used to be when I was like you. I want to unlearn all these muting things. Most of all, I want to relearn how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs!”

The father wants to be like his son again. Yes, he has learnt these hollow expressions because he wants to conform to the changes in society, but he wants to return to the days of his childhood and his innocence and sincerity. These deceitful and insincere things he has learnt have only served to mute him (‘these muting things’) and silence his true thoughts and emotions. He has embraced this cold culture and his laugh in the mirror shows that his teeth are the only things that are laughing. Therefore, he seems deceitful and deceitful like a snake.

“So show me, son, how to laugh; show me how I used to laugh and smile once upon a time when I was like you.”

The persona now pleads (pointlessly) to his son to teach him how to laugh and smile genuinely again. He wants to be innocent and sincere like he was when he was younger and lived in a society that encouraged honesty and a pure identity.

Literary Devices

Simile

“I have learned to wear many faces like dresses” (lines 20-21)

The persona’s many ‘faces’ or personalities which can be compared to women’s dresses. He changes his face or expressions to suit the situation.

“…with all their conforming smiles like a fixed portrait smile.” (lines 23-24)

The different faces of the persona are compared to that of a fixed portrait smile. A smile in a portrait is not the normal state of a person but changes on different occasions to suit the picture. It is structured and can be uncomfortable and exaggerated as the person pretends to be happy. This can be compared to that of the persona who changes his smile for each occasion.

“my laugh in the mirror shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs!” (lines 38-39)

The father’s teeth are compared to a snake’s fangs because the snake is deceptive and deceitful. Therefore, the father is no longer sincere when he laughs. His teeth are deceptive because they do not reflect his true feelings. He is snakelike with this deception.

Metaphor

“while their ice-block-cold eyes” (line 5)

The eyes of the people are compared to ice blocks because they are cold and unwelcoming and callous and unfeeling the people have become.

Repetition

“Once upon a time…” (lines 1 and 43) to reinforce the idea that the persona is telling a story.

Enjambment

An enjambment is when a line runs on to a new line without a stop or pause.

“And I have learned too

to laugh with only my teeth

and shake hands without my heart.” (lines 25-27)

“they used to laugh with their hearts

and laugh with their eyes:” (lines 2-3)

(There are many more examples in the poem)

Alliteration

“shake hands without hearts” (line 8)

“…after being bored.” (line 32)

“But believe me, son.” (line 33)